Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The things that make me the happiest

Lately i've begun to think about all the things that make me happy here and i've realised they are mainly the little things that make me feel so good and get me through the days. This experience has already taught me a lot of things about myself, who i am, what i value, who i love and care about. It's also given me a lot of time to reflect on my life so far and what i want to do in the future, what i want to achieve in my lifetime. I've already achieved a lot of things that i am proud of but there's so much more ahead of me and i'm ready to face them and tackle them with all the determination i can muster. I know when i get back to the sunny shores of Aus i'll be a different person. I'll still have the same values and the things that were important to me before will still be important but i'll be a happier, more confidant and more positive Mel. So here are some of the things that make me happy in my day-to-day life in France.

1. The sun....now that it's Spring the weather is warm the flowers are coming out i can relax outside and take in the sunshine. Just the presence of the sun is enough to put a smile on my face.

2. Managing to express myself in French...sometimes it's a conversation, a successful piece of writing, just a sentence or even a new word. Progressing even the littlest bit in this language makes me feel so content...and it's always nice to hear the surprise, praise and encouragement when i manage to impress people.

3. Spending time with my host sister....relaxing outside on the swinging chair, talking, picking flowers around Savignac or whatever else we decide to do.

4. Being able to talk to my host family about my feelings, worries, hopes, fears, regrets and my life and knowing they really do care about me.

5. Hearing my host brother tell me "tu es très gentille"...having him beg me to play with him, him wanting to give me hug and crying at the thought of me changing host families let alone going home.

6. Being able to go into a shop and ask for what i want.

7. My host brother telling me i have the accent of a french person who's spent a lot of time in another country.

8. Laughing with my friends at school....even if it's only about something little.

9. Understanding something on the radio, and ad on the tv, the conversations of my friends or the lessons without consciously having to translate everything into english in my head.

10. Having friends to talk to, eat with, sit with and do stuff with.

11. Being able to show what a great country Australia is while at the same time appreciating France for the wondeful country it is. I've had so many poeple tell me they want to come to Australia and it makes me feel so happy knowing people love the country that is so special to me. (by the way mum i think we already have about 20 people staying at our house next year :))

12. Feeling proud of myself for what i've been able to acheive here already.

13. Waking up and knowing i still have 8.5 months to enjoy this wondeful experience!

De plus, i've discovered some important things about myself in the three months i've been an exchange student. In my eyes exchange is really a chance to discover yourself. I'm asuming you're all at least a little bit interested to know what i've learnt about myself so...

> Even when things are difficult, i'm scared, i'm panicked and i think i can't cope...I CAN. It may not be easy. I may struggle. I may have some problems. But in the end i make it out ok and that's all that matters.

> I am a strong and determined person and i can do anything i put my mind to.

> I am fiercely independant and like to do as much for myself as i possibly can..sometimes to the point of being incredibly stubborn..not always a good thing i've learnt.

> I get self-satisfaction out of achieving academically and life really isn't the same for me if i don't have something to study or learn. I need to feel intelligent to feel like myself....it's something i feel has defined, and defines, who i am.

> I love exercising and feeling fit but i absolutely HATE walking.

> I'm never going to be a food lover...it's something i do for the sheer necessity of it not because it's something i enjoy.

> I like to make everybody else happy and would do anything for my friends.

> I can make friends if i put myself out there and i'm not worried about what other people are going to think...their opinions aren't the end of the world and i'm strong enough to deal with any criticism that comes my way.

> I'm never going to be one to break the rules...i can't stand feeling like i've done something wrong and i always have to do the "right" thing.

> I have strong moral and ethical values. Not everyone has the same views but that doesn't mean they're bad people...we just have different views on things and everyone is entitled to decide for themselves.

> I have an amazing ability to sleep...but i can always be up and ready whenever i'm needed.

> I can't stand being late anywhere.

> I'm good at waiting and tend to be quite patient.

> I am able to control my anger and i tend to deal with it a lot on my own.

> I'm more positive than i thought i was and i tend to be able to see the good in situations..i think this also stems from the fact that i also hate to complain and would rather deal with things as they are.

> I tend to underestimate myself and need to try hard to be more self-confident.

> Memories, photos and souvenirs play an important part in my life. I'm a collecting type of person and like to know i'm going to remember my experiences for the rest of my life.

> I can be a very kind person when i want to be...sometimes too kind...too afraid to express my real opinion...

> My family and friends are a part of me that i carry around with me wherever i go....their support and love means so much to me and things would be so much more difficult if they weren't there.

> Failure is one of my biggest fears...i'd do almost anything to avoid it...it doesn't sit well with the perfectionist part of my persoanlity.

> I love my life..it's not perfect..there's things in my past i don't exactly like...but i wouldnt change them for the world because they make me who i am today...and at the moment that's someone that i'm proud of...someone i hope will have a future full of happiness, achievements, family, friends and love.

It feels so nice to "know" all these things about myself and feel so happy and secure in who i am. It makes me feel ready for my future. Knowing who i am i know i can go foward with all the confidence i have.

Well that turned into rather a personal post but as i said i've done a lot of reflection here which i think stems from the fact that my family aren't here with me. I am principally my own support network and i have to do a lot more things for myself, whether i like it or not.

3 comments:

  1. Itotally get where you're coming from! So many of these relate to me as well :)

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  2. Some Failures are not to be scared of Mel, Sometimes failure means you tried, and if you tried you experienced life. Many people are frozen with fear of failure, so they never try anything. You have faced your fears, shouted in its face and grasped life with both hands. I'm so proud of my "little miss muffett" you have come so far, and you have so far to go. I cant wait till your back home, but remember our love is with you always no matter where you are. Love Dad & Suz

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  3. thank you dad, your love and support mean a lot...can't wait to see you again. Love you!!!

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